About Carla’s life:
Carla’s Obituary in the SF Chronicle
Carla honored by the SF Board of Supervisors
About Carla’s death:
Carla had a clean mammogram in December. In January, she found a lump that was initially misdiagnosed. On March 28, it was identified as an unusually aggressive breast cancer that had already metastasized to her bones. The cancer was likely already metastasized in December, just too diffuse to show up on the mammogram.
On April 14, we learned it had spread to her liver causing DIC, a fatal condition. She'd had one chemo treatment with the option to continue, but we understood that any further treatment would only extend her life by a short time if at all, with the cost of painful side effects. Carla chose to begin hospice care at home.
She met death the way she met life: with clarity and fearlessness. She chose home over hospital, and quality over quantity. She said no to chemo, blood tests, imaging, IVs, markers, and the rollercoaster of false hope. She said yes to an authentic life, her own bed, soft pillows, and painkillers. I was alone with her when she passed away on Sunday morning, June 12, at home. She was holding an eagle feather, wearing a clean white T-shirt, and facing the open window in our sunlit bedroom. She kindly stopped for death.
I loved taking care of her, cooking for her, and watching her sleep. It was a powerful time, strangely calm and happy. She would wake and say, “It’s a beautiful day. I’m having a wonderful death.” She died the way she lived: with intention and integrity.
-Anna Kuperberg