About Carla’s life:
Carla’s Obituary in the SF Chronicle
Carla honored by the SF Board of Supervisors
About Carla’s death:
Carla had a clean mammogram in December and then in January found a lump which was initially misdiagnosed, then on March 28 was found to be an unusually aggressive breast cancer with metastasis to the bones.
On April 14th we were told that the cancer had spread to her liver causing DIC, a fatal condition. She'd had one chemo treatment and had the option to continue, but we understood that any treatment would only prolong her life a short time and cause painful side effects. Carla decided to start hospice at home.
She took charge of dying with clarity and fearlessness, choosing home over hospital and quality over quantity. She said no to chemo, blood tests, imaging, IVs, markers, and the rollercoaster of false hope. She said yes to an authentic life, her own bed, soft pillows, and painkillers. I was the only one with her when she passed away on Sunday morning, June 12. She was holding an eagle feather and wearing a clean white T-shirt. She faced the open window in our sunlight-filled bedroom. She kindly stopped for death.
Carla’s approach to death was the same as her approach to life: unafraid, calm, pure, and honest. I loved taking care of her, cooking for her, and watching her sleep. It was a powerful time that felt strangely calm and happy. She would wake and say, “It’s a beautiful day. I’m having a wonderful death.” She died the same way she lived: with intention and integrity.
-Anna Kuperberg